Ouachita Stories

It took a lot more than 2 dates to get to this point.

I've been a part of the Ouachita world for about 12 years, counting my time as a student. I'm not an expert on dating at Ouachita, but I can recognize some of the common mistakes made here. Below is my shot at a top five list of rules to follow. Feel free to disagree or propose your own rules to me on twitter @jamesataylor.

1. Don’t use God as a smokescreen. God should be at the center of your life, your choices and your relationships. He should not be a convenient way to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or manipulate a relationship. If you don’t “like like” someone anymore, just be honest. Avoid "God told me" language in any breaking up or asking out scenario. You’re making the decision to date or not date someone, so own up to it.

2. “Two dates & out” merits an explanation. If you don’t see potential in a relationship after one date, you can walk away with no explanation. But if you go on a second date (or more) and then don’t see the relationship going anywhere, you should explicitly let the other person know what you're thinking. You had fun, but you’re not interested in the relationship continuing on a romantic level. That’s okay. Either way, be kind in future interactions and don’t avoid them on campus. This rule may not need to be followed outside of Ouachita, but it applies here.

3. Two dates does not mean you’re getting married. I know that new crushes and romances are exciting. Try to stay calm. It’s just a couple of dates. If the other person isn’t interested afterwards, it’s okay to be sad for a week. It’s not okay to be mad for a year. Let it go. This rule should be followed outside of the OBU world as well.

4. Hanging out is good, but it’s not a date. If you initiate a date, make it special and clearly a date. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to make a date special, but you usually have to put thought and planning into it. Getting coffee at Dr. Jack’s is not a date in my book, especially if your date swipes their own card.

5. Talking in person > Talking on the phone > Every other form of communication > Texting.  Texting is great for a lot of things, but probably isn't the best way to get to know someone. Clear communication is very important at every stage of a relationship and texting isn’t the best way to establish those communication habits. I don’t know—maybe there is an emoji for flirting . But if a majority of your interaction with a crush is texting, that’s definitely a  . Spend time together in person.

- by James Taylor