From the "Ouachitonian": Talor Tartaglia
January 01, 2020
Adoption was a decision that taught Talor Tartaglia how to be part of a blended family. Tartaglia, a senior psychology and sociology double major from Fayetteville, was the oldest of six siblings, four of whom were adopted: one from Guatemala and three who were in and out of the foster care system.
Samantha, her only biological sister, was 18 years old. After a three-year-long process, her family adopted Alex, 15, from Guatemala at the age of nine. Her other siblings, Asia, 15, Dezi, 14, and Bo, 14, all had the same mother, but grew up in separation in foster care, where love was rarely expressed.
“Being the oldest puts a certain amount of weight to be a good example because I have a lot of people who are looking up to me and are going to follow in whatever footsteps that I put down,” Tartaglia said. “It’s hard at times to not be OK with making mistakes, but I’ve learned that sometimes making those mistakes and being able to admit them is just as helpful and beneficial for my younger siblings as well.”
According to Tartaglia, being the oldest in a blended family was different from being the oldest in a traditional, biological family.
“It is very different for me being the oldest, when we ended up changing our family drastically, because being the oldest of one sibling who is similar to me and I’ve known since she was really little is very different from gaining three new siblings at once and another sibling after that when they were already 4 or 5 years old,” Tartaglia said, “It’s different because they came from backgrounds that weren’t my family. So, loving on them looked very different in the beginning. We showed them that they are loved rather than what their original and biological families showed them.”
Tartaglia had to learn how to be welcoming to people who she did not know before.
“Learning to love someone who is not previously related to you, like Samantha was for me, was a process. But, it was also very good for me and hopefully good for them too.”
Growing up, Tartaglia had to face many different trials from her peers in school because of her circumstances at home. Yet, the difficulties she experienced, for her, paralleled her faith.
“Adoption has become one of the things that means the most to me,” Tartaglia said. “It is the perfect picture of God adopting us into His family and loving us in every way. I got to watch my parents take in four kids who were not necessarily their own at first. And because of their backgrounds, they had a lot of baggage with them. Therefore, they would cause a lot of problems. Never did I see my parents not choose to love them, and I think that God does the same with us because I come with a lot of baggage and a lot of sin. Even though I continue to mess up, God continually loves me.”
There was no difference in the love Tartaglia had for her biological sister and the rest of her adopted siblings. She enjoyed being able to witness the growth in her siblings.
“Watching my siblings flourish under true and complete love is kind of like watching a new believer realize that they’re loved and be able to live because of that,” Tartaglia said.
By Brooke Woessner
Photo by Andy Henderson
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